Between A Rock & A Hard Place

Dear Will, 

This Christmas was a very emotionally exhausting few days for me and my boyfriend.  We have been together for 6 years and are very happy.  Earlier this year he came out to his family and it actually went better than we expected.  So this year he invited me to go to Arizona to visit his family for Christmas.  We decided that while we were in town we would stay at a hotel out of respect for his parents.  We just didn't want that awkwardness of sleeping in the same bed under his parents roof.  His mother insisted that we stay at the house.  I felt that was very kind of her.  His sisters also were very welcoming but his father didn't really have anything to say to either one of us.  In fact, he wouldn't even stay in the same room with us for more than a couple of minutes.  It didn't really bother me but I could tell that my boyfriend was really hurting because of this.  I'm worried that if I hadn't been there would he have acted this way or did he do this because he came out.  I tried to comfort him but he doesn't really want to talk about it.  What do I do?

Caught in the middle.

~

Dear Caught in the middle,

You are definitely in a sticky situation.  The most important thing you can do is let him know that you are there for him.  Give it time, don't do anything at all just yet.  Like you, I'm not sure if his fathers actions were due to him coming out or because he brought his lover home for Christmas.  Maybe, and hopefully, he will come around and be more comfortable with everything.  But only time will tell.

There is a radio show that I listen to regularly ( +TheOfflimitsShow ) and last nights episode had a segment that spoke about this exact thing.  One of his listeners was in a similar situation and had written a beautiful heart felt letter to the parents of his boyfriends not so accepting parents.  You should really listen to the letter being read on the show.  I'm not suggesting that you write a letter to his parents, it doesn't seem that your situation is exactly the same, but I think you should listen to it anyway.  (below is a link to the show) Continue to be there for your boyfriend, through thick and thin and life will be great.

Will

Offlimits Show

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