Prom Date

Dear Will,

My son is an openly gay senior in high school.  Everyone knows about his sexuality including the school administration and no one has a problem with it. My son does not have a "boyfriend" but does have a close gay friend that he spends a lot of time with who also goes to the same school but is a year younger. 

Yesterday, he came to me and told me that he was going to the prom, which is this weekend.  I assumed he would be going alone or with a friend, a girl.  But he said he was taking Jason, his gay friend.  I of course and thrilled he has the courage to take someone he likes to prom, but I am concerned that there may be issues with bullying and or issues with the school administration with him bringing another guy to the prom.  I asked my son if he was worried about these things and he said he had it covered.  He has already gotten permission from the principal for the two of them to attend together as well as already told everyone at school.  He says everyone is cool with it.  Am I just being an over protective parent?

Proud PFLAG Mom.

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Dear Proud PFLAG Mom,

Your son sounds like a remarkable young man.  It sounds like he has all of his bases covered by checking with the principal as well as other students and faculty, It is wonderful that he is able to be open about his sexuality at a young age and has the courage to attend his senior prom with another guy.  I admire that.  

You do have reason to be concerned.  There is a lot of bullying and jerks out in the world today, but it is also 2015, times are changing for the better.  Relax.  The school is aware of what is going on and will protect them at the best of their ability.  He will be surrounded by friends.  

I hope he has a wonderful time at the Prom and makes many wonderful memories.

Will

I Know My Son Is Gay. Now What?

Dear Will,

How does a mom let her 18 year old son know she knows he prefers boys?  I've known since he was 5 or 6 years old.

HELP!!!

T.

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Dear T.

This is an easy yet complex situation.  The easiest thing (and probably the best) to do is nothing at all. Just wait and let him tell you when he is ready.  You don't want to run out and buy your PFLAG accessories just yet.  However, with that said, let your feelings be known.  Bring up gay topics and issues in casual conversation so that he knows whether or not you are accepting of a gay son.  If you are, let him know that it's okay for him to come to you about anything.  This reminds me of the episode of Ugly Betty where the family has discovered that Justin is gay.  Hilda decorates the house for a surprise coming out party.  It looked like a bag of skittles exploded in the room.  Don't do that. You'll cause him to undergo years of unnecessary therapy.  

Will

Watch the video -->   Ugly Betty - Justin Comes Out 

+PFLAG National 

Between A Rock & A Hard Place

Dear Will, 

This Christmas was a very emotionally exhausting few days for me and my boyfriend.  We have been together for 6 years and are very happy.  Earlier this year he came out to his family and it actually went better than we expected.  So this year he invited me to go to Arizona to visit his family for Christmas.  We decided that while we were in town we would stay at a hotel out of respect for his parents.  We just didn't want that awkwardness of sleeping in the same bed under his parents roof.  His mother insisted that we stay at the house.  I felt that was very kind of her.  His sisters also were very welcoming but his father didn't really have anything to say to either one of us.  In fact, he wouldn't even stay in the same room with us for more than a couple of minutes.  It didn't really bother me but I could tell that my boyfriend was really hurting because of this.  I'm worried that if I hadn't been there would he have acted this way or did he do this because he came out.  I tried to comfort him but he doesn't really want to talk about it.  What do I do?

Caught in the middle.

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Dear Caught in the middle,

You are definitely in a sticky situation.  The most important thing you can do is let him know that you are there for him.  Give it time, don't do anything at all just yet.  Like you, I'm not sure if his fathers actions were due to him coming out or because he brought his lover home for Christmas.  Maybe, and hopefully, he will come around and be more comfortable with everything.  But only time will tell.

There is a radio show that I listen to regularly ( +TheOfflimitsShow ) and last nights episode had a segment that spoke about this exact thing.  One of his listeners was in a similar situation and had written a beautiful heart felt letter to the parents of his boyfriends not so accepting parents.  You should really listen to the letter being read on the show.  I'm not suggesting that you write a letter to his parents, it doesn't seem that your situation is exactly the same, but I think you should listen to it anyway.  (below is a link to the show) Continue to be there for your boyfriend, through thick and thin and life will be great.

Will

Offlimits Show

Offlimits Show Gay Mass 2014 Year End (Spreaker)