Confused and Questioning

Will,

Okay, I have always lived the "straight" life with a few guy/guy DL hookups here and there, but its always been just sex.  Last year, I made a friend who is openly gay and we became good friends, and did good around a bit, but no romantic overtones at the time, was always just for fun.  Well he has since moved away, and I find myself really missing him... and for the first time in my life, in looking back, I find that I was attracted to him emotionally as well.  So it has me wondering if I really am gay...

Wondering

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Dear Wondering,

Why do you have to put a label on it?  You are attracted to the person, not what they have between their legs. 

If you find yourself having strong feelings for someone and want to pursue it, tell them.  Who knows, they may have the same feelings in return.  You'll never know unless you start a conversation about it.

Will

How To Deal With Being Bisexual

Dear Will,

Hi.  I wanna know how to deal with being bi.  Where do you meet other bi guys?  How do you get over the fear of telling someone that you're bi.  I could NEVER tell my friends.  Advice?

Closeted

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Dear Closeted,

Well. I'm not sure what kind of places, if any, are in your area and not sure if you are in a small town or a large city.  But for me, there is a local bar, not a club, where I like to go.  The people are friendly and it's very low key.  I have made several great friends there.  Another thing you may want to try are dating/hook-up apps like Scruff or Grindr.  I know that sounds crazy, but I have made several good friends on there as well.  They are not just for hooking up.  However, if that's what you're looking for. There it is.

As far as telling your friends, who says you have to?  It does make it easier if you are wanting to have a serious long term relationship with another man, but if you're just wanting hook ups then why does anyone have to know.  What goes on in your bedroom is no ones business but your own.  Although, if you do decide to come out to them, if they are true friends they will still be there for you.  Yes, it may seem awkward at first but it will pass.  If something like this causes you to loose a friend, they weren't real friends to begin with.  You have to do what makes you happy.  Having inner peace with yourself is the absolute most important thing. As LGBTQ Royalty "The Queen" RuPaul says, "If You Can't Love Yourself, How In The Hell Are You Gonna Love Somebody Else?"

Welcome to the family.  :-)

Will

I Know My Son Is Gay. Now What?

Dear Will,

How does a mom let her 18 year old son know she knows he prefers boys?  I've known since he was 5 or 6 years old.

HELP!!!

T.

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Dear T.

This is an easy yet complex situation.  The easiest thing (and probably the best) to do is nothing at all. Just wait and let him tell you when he is ready.  You don't want to run out and buy your PFLAG accessories just yet.  However, with that said, let your feelings be known.  Bring up gay topics and issues in casual conversation so that he knows whether or not you are accepting of a gay son.  If you are, let him know that it's okay for him to come to you about anything.  This reminds me of the episode of Ugly Betty where the family has discovered that Justin is gay.  Hilda decorates the house for a surprise coming out party.  It looked like a bag of skittles exploded in the room.  Don't do that. You'll cause him to undergo years of unnecessary therapy.  

Will

Watch the video -->   Ugly Betty - Justin Comes Out 

+PFLAG National 

Between A Rock & A Hard Place

Dear Will, 

This Christmas was a very emotionally exhausting few days for me and my boyfriend.  We have been together for 6 years and are very happy.  Earlier this year he came out to his family and it actually went better than we expected.  So this year he invited me to go to Arizona to visit his family for Christmas.  We decided that while we were in town we would stay at a hotel out of respect for his parents.  We just didn't want that awkwardness of sleeping in the same bed under his parents roof.  His mother insisted that we stay at the house.  I felt that was very kind of her.  His sisters also were very welcoming but his father didn't really have anything to say to either one of us.  In fact, he wouldn't even stay in the same room with us for more than a couple of minutes.  It didn't really bother me but I could tell that my boyfriend was really hurting because of this.  I'm worried that if I hadn't been there would he have acted this way or did he do this because he came out.  I tried to comfort him but he doesn't really want to talk about it.  What do I do?

Caught in the middle.

~

Dear Caught in the middle,

You are definitely in a sticky situation.  The most important thing you can do is let him know that you are there for him.  Give it time, don't do anything at all just yet.  Like you, I'm not sure if his fathers actions were due to him coming out or because he brought his lover home for Christmas.  Maybe, and hopefully, he will come around and be more comfortable with everything.  But only time will tell.

There is a radio show that I listen to regularly ( +TheOfflimitsShow ) and last nights episode had a segment that spoke about this exact thing.  One of his listeners was in a similar situation and had written a beautiful heart felt letter to the parents of his boyfriends not so accepting parents.  You should really listen to the letter being read on the show.  I'm not suggesting that you write a letter to his parents, it doesn't seem that your situation is exactly the same, but I think you should listen to it anyway.  (below is a link to the show) Continue to be there for your boyfriend, through thick and thin and life will be great.

Will

Offlimits Show

Offlimits Show Gay Mass 2014 Year End (Spreaker)

My Child is Gay

Hey, I need some advice. My daughter who is 10 told me she thinks she likes girls. Of course, I know I have done right by her feeling she could tell me this at 10 year's old. I told her that is ok. I let her know I love and support her no matter what. She asked me what about God. I told her He loves her no matter what too. I told her that God knew who you were when He made you. I said we know what the bible says but it was written by man and those words are not in red. That means Jesus did not speak them and no-one is perfect. No-one is better than you. She says she still is not sure. I think she is but is scared. She doesn't want me to tell her dad until she is sure. I said I will respect that. Give me some advice my dear friend.

Proud Parent 

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Dear Proud Parent,

I this you are handling this perfectly.  She is lucky to have a wonderful and understanding mother as yourself.  Just be there for her and keep loving her no matter what.  And you're absolutely right.  The words in the bible that speak on homosexuality are not in red. They are mans word, not God's.  You're also doing right by keeping her secret.  Let her tell her father, when she's ready.  Just let her know that you love her, you are there for her, and she'll always be your little girl.

Will