I'm Back

Hello all.
I'm back.  I've been away working on other advice projects.  Now I have the time to be more involved with my blog.  Please feel free to send me your questions and problems.  I'd love to help.

e-mail me at askwhatwillthinks@gmail.com

-Will-

Who to choose

Dear Will,

I have been single for the past three years but for the past year I have put myself back in the dating scene.  I have regularly been seeing three different guys casually.  Last weekend one of the guys I am dating brought up "THE talk".  He wants to be exclusive.  I do like him very much.  We have a lot in common and enjoy spending time together.  He is perfect.  But The other guys are equally great.  I enjoy spending time with them all.  I do feel that it is time to become exclusive with one guy and stop dating multiple guys, but I don't know who to choose.  What do I do?

Jacob

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Dear Jacob,

This is a difficult decision that you have to make and it's one that only YOU can make. My recommendation is to have "the talk" with the other guys and see how they feel.  They may not want to be in a committed relationship at all, and then again, maybe they will all want to settle down with you.  You need to have that conversation with each of them and then follow your heart.  If for nothing else, than to give each one closure.  

I wish you the best.

Will

Wet Dreams

Dear Will,

My name is Alex and I'm 10 years old.  My older brother is always making jokes about wet dreams and when I ask him what it is he just says "you'll know when you have one".  I asked my mom but she changed the subject. What is a wet dream and what's the big deal?

Alex

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Dear Alex,

A wet dream or Nocturnal Admissions, as it is also called, is not a bad thing or a big deal.  A wet dream happens mostly during puberty for boys.  During puberty you will have an erection at any time for no reason at all, during school, watching TV and especially while sleeping.  During an erection your body will produce sperm and will build up and will need to be released.  Normally sperm is released through sex and masturbation. Without sex and/or masturbation your body will naturally release the build up during the night, usually during a dream with a sexual nature.  

There is no way to stop a wet dream from happening. Every guy is different.  Some guys experience this several times a week and others may only experience it a few times in their life.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  It is totally natural. Just one of the many inconveniences in life.  Simply clean yourself up and go on with your day. 

You may find a little more useful information HERE. 

Will

Prom Date

Dear Will,

My son is an openly gay senior in high school.  Everyone knows about his sexuality including the school administration and no one has a problem with it. My son does not have a "boyfriend" but does have a close gay friend that he spends a lot of time with who also goes to the same school but is a year younger. 

Yesterday, he came to me and told me that he was going to the prom, which is this weekend.  I assumed he would be going alone or with a friend, a girl.  But he said he was taking Jason, his gay friend.  I of course and thrilled he has the courage to take someone he likes to prom, but I am concerned that there may be issues with bullying and or issues with the school administration with him bringing another guy to the prom.  I asked my son if he was worried about these things and he said he had it covered.  He has already gotten permission from the principal for the two of them to attend together as well as already told everyone at school.  He says everyone is cool with it.  Am I just being an over protective parent?

Proud PFLAG Mom.

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Dear Proud PFLAG Mom,

Your son sounds like a remarkable young man.  It sounds like he has all of his bases covered by checking with the principal as well as other students and faculty, It is wonderful that he is able to be open about his sexuality at a young age and has the courage to attend his senior prom with another guy.  I admire that.  

You do have reason to be concerned.  There is a lot of bullying and jerks out in the world today, but it is also 2015, times are changing for the better.  Relax.  The school is aware of what is going on and will protect them at the best of their ability.  He will be surrounded by friends.  

I hope he has a wonderful time at the Prom and makes many wonderful memories.

Will

Starting Over

Dear Will,

I loved someone with all my heart. For 12 years I meant it when I said I believed this person was my soul mate! I believed we were building for our golden years, I just never thought of life without her right up till she told me she wanted a divorce.  All I could think of was I have to get away.  I didn't take anything besides my clothes and my old truck, because I figured anything we worked for together would only be a reminder of how wrong I had truly been.  To tell you the truth I'm in a daze and don't know what to do? I'm not upset with her or anything like that, it's just for so long there was no me without her.  How do you go on in life? I never figured that I would be in this shape at this time in life. I loved being in a relationship, loved doing things for her, loved being in love and I want it back. I just don't know how to get there? It's over between me and her but I want to find someone else and don't have a clue where to look.  Any advice?

Starting over.

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Dear Starting over.

It is said that when one door closes, another one opens.  I believe this to be true. It appears that this was a lovely chapter in your life, right up until the end and my heart goes out to you. But it's time to start a new chapter. A relationship can not work if both parties are not in it 100%.  She did you a favor by ending it with you if her heart wasn't in it.  If you desire to move on and find love again, go for it. Love will find you when and where you least expect it, but you have to put yourself out there. Join a singles group, a bowling league, Church group, something that you find interest, maybe even take a cooking or pottery class. Don't go with the intention on finding a mate, just go to have fun. You never who you may meet or who may introduce you to a friend.  Also, don't expect to find love right off the bat.  Take your time, go on several dates.  In time old wounds heal and you'll find love again. I promise.

Will

F'd up on Facebook

Dear Will,

Here we go...... I've been married for 8 years now. Me and my wife live in different houses. Her with her parents, me with mine. I got out of the Army last year. We have 4 children together. About a week ago we were seeing each other and I accused her of cheating... which she wasn't and we got into an argument. Well I went home that night and very immaturely wrote a rant about her on facebook and tagged her in it. Obviously, I pissed her off. Now she is ignoring the crap outta me and I can't see my kids. She blocked my number and blocked me on facebook. Like a stupid guy I tried writing her the following morning as well as call and she will not reply back. Totally and completely ignoring me. 

I'm trying to figure out what I should do and what she's going through. Will it pass? I'm very sorry for what I did and she's leaving me in the dark with everything. I feel completely lost cause I'm really in love with her, of course. and I have no excuse for my actions. I don't know what to really say on here but I need advice or some sort of insight.  

Thanks in advance.

Guilty

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Dear Guilty,

First I want to thank you for your service to the country.  Your hard work and dedication is very appreciated.

Now.  With your wife.  You F'd up. Rule #1: Don't air your dirty laundry on social media. #2: Always respect the mother of your children.  Even if you don't get along, she gave you the greatest gift in the world (4 times). Don't bash her in front of her friends, family and the world.  That's not cool.  She has every right to be upset with you right now.

You have already apologized and let her know you are sorry.  Now give her space. Leave her alone and let her calm down. Eventually she will speak to you.  She may never forgive you, but she will have to maintain contact with you for the kids.  

Remember, you messed up.  She's going to make you pay.  Give her time.  Do nothing. 

Good Luck.

Will

Confused and Questioning

Will,

Okay, I have always lived the "straight" life with a few guy/guy DL hookups here and there, but its always been just sex.  Last year, I made a friend who is openly gay and we became good friends, and did good around a bit, but no romantic overtones at the time, was always just for fun.  Well he has since moved away, and I find myself really missing him... and for the first time in my life, in looking back, I find that I was attracted to him emotionally as well.  So it has me wondering if I really am gay...

Wondering

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Dear Wondering,

Why do you have to put a label on it?  You are attracted to the person, not what they have between their legs. 

If you find yourself having strong feelings for someone and want to pursue it, tell them.  Who knows, they may have the same feelings in return.  You'll never know unless you start a conversation about it.

Will