Living with my ex

Dear Will,

My ex boyfriend and I were together for almost four years.  We had our ups and downs as all relationships do but we decided we were better off as friends. We have remained friends since our breakup three years ago.  Recently he lost his job and after several months of searching he has finally landed a new one.  Just last week I lost mine.  I was able to get a part time job waiting tables at a friends restaurant but money is still tight.  It's difficult for both of us.  We have been discussing the possibility of moving in together to help each other out with the bills until we can get back on our feet.  Do you think this is a good idea?  

Alex J.

St. Louis

Dear Alex,

Obviously you are second guessing this situation or you wouldn't be asking.  You must go with your gut feelings.  If there is any hesitation, don't do it.  If you are in desperate need of a roommate, there are lots of people out there looking too. Check out Craigslist.  On second thought, that's not always the safest thing to do.  Have the two of you discussed this in detail?  Do either one of you have the slightest feelings for the other that is not platonic?  How long do you expect to live together?  Most importantly, do you believe you could live together without killing each other?  In my experience, I have lost a couple of really great friends by moving in together.  You really don't know someone until you live with them.  However, if you have lived together in the past, during your four year relationship, you should already know what it is like to live with him.  So again I ask, why are you asking?  What does your gut tell you?  Always follow your gut.

Will