Starting Over

Dear Will,

I loved someone with all my heart. For 12 years I meant it when I said I believed this person was my soul mate! I believed we were building for our golden years, I just never thought of life without her right up till she told me she wanted a divorce.  All I could think of was I have to get away.  I didn't take anything besides my clothes and my old truck, because I figured anything we worked for together would only be a reminder of how wrong I had truly been.  To tell you the truth I'm in a daze and don't know what to do? I'm not upset with her or anything like that, it's just for so long there was no me without her.  How do you go on in life? I never figured that I would be in this shape at this time in life. I loved being in a relationship, loved doing things for her, loved being in love and I want it back. I just don't know how to get there? It's over between me and her but I want to find someone else and don't have a clue where to look.  Any advice?

Starting over.

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Dear Starting over.

It is said that when one door closes, another one opens.  I believe this to be true. It appears that this was a lovely chapter in your life, right up until the end and my heart goes out to you. But it's time to start a new chapter. A relationship can not work if both parties are not in it 100%.  She did you a favor by ending it with you if her heart wasn't in it.  If you desire to move on and find love again, go for it. Love will find you when and where you least expect it, but you have to put yourself out there. Join a singles group, a bowling league, Church group, something that you find interest, maybe even take a cooking or pottery class. Don't go with the intention on finding a mate, just go to have fun. You never who you may meet or who may introduce you to a friend.  Also, don't expect to find love right off the bat.  Take your time, go on several dates.  In time old wounds heal and you'll find love again. I promise.

Will

F'd up on Facebook

Dear Will,

Here we go...... I've been married for 8 years now. Me and my wife live in different houses. Her with her parents, me with mine. I got out of the Army last year. We have 4 children together. About a week ago we were seeing each other and I accused her of cheating... which she wasn't and we got into an argument. Well I went home that night and very immaturely wrote a rant about her on facebook and tagged her in it. Obviously, I pissed her off. Now she is ignoring the crap outta me and I can't see my kids. She blocked my number and blocked me on facebook. Like a stupid guy I tried writing her the following morning as well as call and she will not reply back. Totally and completely ignoring me. 

I'm trying to figure out what I should do and what she's going through. Will it pass? I'm very sorry for what I did and she's leaving me in the dark with everything. I feel completely lost cause I'm really in love with her, of course. and I have no excuse for my actions. I don't know what to really say on here but I need advice or some sort of insight.  

Thanks in advance.

Guilty

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Dear Guilty,

First I want to thank you for your service to the country.  Your hard work and dedication is very appreciated.

Now.  With your wife.  You F'd up. Rule #1: Don't air your dirty laundry on social media. #2: Always respect the mother of your children.  Even if you don't get along, she gave you the greatest gift in the world (4 times). Don't bash her in front of her friends, family and the world.  That's not cool.  She has every right to be upset with you right now.

You have already apologized and let her know you are sorry.  Now give her space. Leave her alone and let her calm down. Eventually she will speak to you.  She may never forgive you, but she will have to maintain contact with you for the kids.  

Remember, you messed up.  She's going to make you pay.  Give her time.  Do nothing. 

Good Luck.

Will

Confused and Questioning

Will,

Okay, I have always lived the "straight" life with a few guy/guy DL hookups here and there, but its always been just sex.  Last year, I made a friend who is openly gay and we became good friends, and did good around a bit, but no romantic overtones at the time, was always just for fun.  Well he has since moved away, and I find myself really missing him... and for the first time in my life, in looking back, I find that I was attracted to him emotionally as well.  So it has me wondering if I really am gay...

Wondering

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Dear Wondering,

Why do you have to put a label on it?  You are attracted to the person, not what they have between their legs. 

If you find yourself having strong feelings for someone and want to pursue it, tell them.  Who knows, they may have the same feelings in return.  You'll never know unless you start a conversation about it.

Will